You might think that every relationship is unique, and you are right! But as individuals with complex personalities and feelings, every couple will experience a series of moments that professionals identify as stages of love. So, in this article, we will discuss the thirteen stages of love in a relationship.
Did you know that every solid relationship goes through these stages? By learning to recognize them, you can be prepared to get through them and build a happy relationship. Do you want to find out which are these moments? Keep reading and discover the 13 stages of love!
Table of Contents
- Stages of Love in a Relationship:
- Stage 1: Romance, the attraction is in the air
- Stage 2: Connection. Now love is in the air
- Stage 3: Disillusionment or… Life as it is
- Stage 4: The conflict begins
- Stage 5: Awareness, the calm after the storm
- Stage 6: Second crisis
- Stage 7: Sex… get it on
- Stage 8: Partnership
- Stage 9: Third crisis… is it over?
- Stage 10: Experienced love; The cream of the crop
- Stage 11: Shared solitude
- Stage 12: Fourth crisis
- Stage 13: Fulfillment
Stages of Love in a Relationship:
Stage 1: Romance, the attraction is in the air
In this stage, everything’s feeling as good as might be. You’ll notice that the attraction is increasing. You want to be together most of the time, you are sexy and so is your crush or loved one, passion is big.
You are having a fun time, and there seems to be a perfect flow between you two. You are full of pleasant feelings. None of you know why, but every word, kiss, and hug makes you happy and more attracted to each other.
The reason behind all this is a cocktail of dopamine, phenylethylamine, and oxytocin flowing through your body.
In this phase, the chemistry of love starts to trigger. As a famous song says: “it’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life. And you are feeling good.”
If you want to know more about this human nature process and how your hormones act, read this article about the science behind love, published on the Harvard University website.
In this stage, couples idealize each other. Both try to show their best side. There is nothing wrong with this special stage of roses. That’s how any relationship should start. Just don’t rush it and enjoy it without fear.
Stage 2: Connection. Now love is in the air
This is when the high feelings that occur at the beginning seem to become less impulsive and exalted, so the emotions are more stable. You and your partner have developed a powerful connection, which feels like it will last. A true love sign that you both are madly in love.
There is a certain vibe between you two that makes you enjoy your relationship with a sense of comfort and lovely intimacy. You are in love, your partner loves you back. You admire each other, but it can be hard to find the words to describe your feelings because they turned deeper.
Stage 3: Disillusionment or… Life as it is
Did you ever see the first Lego movie? If you did, you must remember the song that got stuck inside your head -like your partner did- and goes like: Everything is awesome. Well, this is when you start to realize that everything… is NOT awesome.
You start to get worried. Flaws begin to show, but you still feel very attracted and with deep feelings for each other. However, you find yourself tolerating some aspects of your partner’s personality. Spoiler alert! You’ll have your first major crisis in this stage.
The feeling of disillusionment is not particularly enjoyable, but it’s an opportunity to learn from each other. That feeling will make you learn about differences through acceptance, without trying to “change” each other. This is the best chance to evaluate if you can commit to each other in the long run.
Stage 4: The conflict begins
It sounds like you have to prepare yourself for living a dramatic and tense movie… but you don’t have to if you assume a relationship as a learning process and love as a nonpainful base.
In this stage, you will have to make some efforts to resolve conflicts. Couples go through this stage of love because they have learned to listen to each other. They affront issues with maturity, and of course, have a stable love and friendship foundation.
The common aspect of conflicts in this stage is that couples start to fight over power among each other in a confrontation of egos. This is why both have to stop making assumptions. Listen to your partner and share your feelings and opinions.
Stage 5: Awareness, the calm after the storm
This is the period of full maturity as a couple, as conflicts are resolved, you can stabilize again as partners. Love is revived, stronger. You just have learned about patience and forgiveness.
At this point, you support each other. You no longer see yourselves as perfect individuals. Instead, you accept yourselves as imperfect yet marvelous human beings that love each other, and work together as a lovely and respectful team.
This does not mean that there will be no more problems between the two of you, but you’ll be capable of managing it better than before. There will be better communication to solve problems, and your relationship will be nurtured by the experience.
Also, the bond between you will be forceful. This is a great moment to explore the romantic aspects of your relationship, try other ways of connection and renew the romance. Find pleasing ways to do it, from the words of a specialist, right here.
Stage 6: Second crisis
Take a deep breath, you have made a great effort, and it still doesn’t seem to be enough because a big crisis just happened. What’s going on? It is stage six of love.
This is a big test for relationships. This major crisis is characterized by an external factor that shakes and affects the relationship. But it can also be a consequence of the accumulation of several minor issues.
At this stage, couples commonly experience a feeling of failure, loss of privacy, loss of interest, or commitment. Perhaps one or both of you are thinking of separation or are confused about the future of the relationship.
It is a stage of love that feels more like a disturbance than love. You are full of doubts. If you pass through this, it will feel like a whole new life. This stage will mark a before and after situation. A particular aspect of this stage is that it can happen after the third stage or maybe later.
Stage 7: Sex… get it on
The sexy phase begins, lust is high. Sex feels better than ever, it becomes more exciting. But, this stage also can appear as the opposite: disinterest of one or both lovers, or non-existent sex. If this is the phase you are living, do not give up, and remember that it is only a stage.
Enjoy it! And if you are one of the lucky couples who experience this stage as a boost sexual moment, apply these tips to keep the flame alive, beyond this stage of love.
Look for exciting new ways to reconnect with that sexual energy. Creativity is now your best friend. Don’t you know how to start? Here are some tips to improve your sex life.
Stage 8: Partnership
At this stage, his confidence level is excellent. Your attitude is positive, now you are associated, more involved with each other, you satisfyingly share life. Maybe you have projects together, or just support the goals that each of you has. You are taking good care of each other and being kind.
This stage is the moment to renew the romance, surprise your partner, express your feelings with lovely acts, and show your appreciation. If you are having problems to be romantic, find some strategies here.
Stage 9: Third crisis… is it over?
Yes, another one of these, and it’s a big one. For some couples, there comes a time of terrible problems. It may be the death of a beloved family member, infidelity, a severe accident, ran out of savings, job loss, or grave illness, for example. All this creates a big crisis that marks the relationship forever.
It takes a lot of strength, conversation, and hard work to get through this stage. The way to deal with this will depend on the type of problem or problems that triggered this situation.
It will take time to evolve from this stage of the relationship, and your love will not be the same. Although, if it is stable and you put into practice all the skills that you and your partner learned from the previous stages, you’re going to be all right.
Maybe you are going to need professional help to overcome this. If so, seek it. Your love and your relationship will depend on you, as a couple, taking the necessary step. It may not be easy, but don’t avoid it, and if you need to request a timeout, take the risk.
Stage 10: Experienced love; The cream of the crop
Of course, after the big test you’ve gone through before, here comes the sun! You have achieved a relationship with a mature, stable, wise, and radiant love. This is the stage in which you are in your most solid moment as a couple.
Hard times are in the past, you just have a few disagreements from time to time, but nothing disturbing or intense. You are not afraid of your weaknesses, defects, or eventual discussions because you know each other and know that you won’t give up on love.
Your feelings and bond are now almost on a spiritual plane. You are both aware of this stage of love, and most people can see you as an exemplary couple. You know it is not a flawless relationship, but you feel happy and satisfied.
Stage 11: Shared solitude
This is a stage that comes with the years. It is characterized by an amount of time enjoying yourself and having a simple routine, in which you are physically far from each other, although the bond is still strong.
You just don’t feel the need to be together every day or most of the time, but that doesn’t mean you love each other less. You love to share the little pleasures of life, and you have become more loving. But there is no feeling of attachment or any sense of anguish at being separated.
When you are not together, you don’t feel abandoned or unattended, there are no conflicts about it, and you don’t feel selfish. You know and feel that you are still loved.
Stage 12: Fourth crisis
Now you must be thinking how another crisis is possible? Well, this stage is when one or both of the partners develop a mental illness. This is a hard test of loyalty and love that occurs when couples are older.
In case you’re wondering how this is handled, the answer lies in all those years and experiences. All the stages of love that you spent with your partner make you stay together through illness, and through problems.
For sure, someday one lover or both will break, and experience some overwhelming feelings. But still, you will be together without hesitation. In the end, this crisis will show the gratitude and loyalty you developed during your lifetime.
Stage 13: Fulfillment
This is the final stage of love. Corresponds to the moment when a partner dies. You are full of memories and treasure the best. Find comfort in your loved ones, family, and friends who witnessed the great love you had.
Eventually, you will feel better and have the satisfaction of having lived a love that overcame the passage of time and its lessons.
Conclusion about the ideal love
All the beauty and good feelings that love brings are not sustained by anything. They are not pure coincidence or spontaneity. It takes time, effort, and patience.
Now that you have learned about the 13 stages of love, you can better deal with the process of being in a relationship, be more aware and wiser. Remember that love can be difficult, and there is no perfect relationship; Keep it healthy, be happy, and make your love strong, consciously!